I can always talk to my mom

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Spent the day today reading a lot of people's blogs and though I know I shouldn't compare myself to other people, I find that I haven't quite found the courage to be open about my personal thoughts and feelings in my blog.  This has a lot to do with the fact that I have another blog that I keep just for myself; to write the things that I need to say to someone, but can't say to anyone.  It's taken me a while to be completely honest in that one too, so I'm hopeful for similar progress here.

I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately.  She and I are very similar and, as a result, sometimes clash with each other.  We're both really stubborn and say what we think, yet we're both really insecure and can get hurt easily if a comment hits a little too close to home.  Lately I think I've been a little less understanding of her than I feel I should be, so I thought I'd take the afternoon to make a visit.

Though it probably wasn't the best time for me to visit, what I love about my mom is that she always makes time for me.  Even when she's in the middle of a crazy busy time at a shoot, she'll always answer my phone calls, even if it's just to say "I can't talk right now! I love you! Bye!".  Today was no different. 

I took the opportunity to just spill my brains out at her so we could pick over all the things I've been thinking about recently: where I am going in my career and my dating life and why I feel they're mutually exclusive right now...feelings I'm trying to sort through...past experience...you know: mushy girl stuff.  She's always good at setting my head straight after I've scrambled it all up over-analyzing things. 

She also shared with me a piece of her own history that she thought would help me not regret my own.  Looking back on things is always hard.  It can often be such a big picture that looking forward seems so exhausting; like there is so much to handle it's just overwhelming.  But the moral of the story is: life is messy.  It's hard, and it sucks, and no-one has the experience of things working out "just as they should".  The important thing is to do the best things - what you know to be right - for now.  Things work out the way they should in the end, but the middle is what we have control over, and that is where our fortitude is needed.

Then we watched videos on YouTube and laughed at people's posts on FB.

I love my mom.